


Chat Noir: The Vagrant Vigilante?

by Nekuyo



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Because I thought it was funny, Chat is not actually homeless, F/M, Gen, It's a comedy, Marichat, Working title, basically what would happen if Marinette gets it into her head Chat Noir is homeless, might get a little serious, mostly Gen though - Freeform, tags will arrive as they come up, tentative LadyNoir, wild Marinette speculation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-07 16:38:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10364862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekuyo/pseuds/Nekuyo
Summary: "Do you think Chat Noir is homeless?" Marinette asks Alya one day.When Marinette starts to question why Chat Noir would rather be running about at night instead of home and, hopefully, in a bed she starts worrying about whether or not he has a home at all.Wild fan speculation ensues and things get a little out of hand.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So, I posted about this idea I had on tumblr, where Marinette gets this wild idea in her head about Chat, and things get a little out of hand and Adrien has to somehow prove that Chat isn't actually some homeless guy so that Ladybug will take him seriously as a love interest. And.... then this happened. 
> 
> Stay tuned.

Marinette leaned back from her desk, her mind no longer willing to concentrate on her homework with the heat that was gathering in her room. As the weather got warmer in Paris her little attic room above a busy bakery got pretty unbearable. She looked up and noticed that the sun had gone down as she was working.

Marinette got up from her desk and went over to the window. She opened it and breathed a sigh of relief as the cool evening air blew gently into the room. She went to the other window and pulled it open as well, intent on getting a cross breeze going through her room. As she looked down at the scenery below something unexpected caught her eye. Chat Noir was crouched in one of the trees in the park just across the street. Well, it was rather dark, she supposed she couldn’t be entirely sure, but a black figure with bright green eyes up in a tree at night had his name all over it. Marinette cocked her head to the side in confusion. He seemed to be staring at the bakery intently, his nose twitching.

Marinette stood at her window for a while, trying to determine what Chat Noir could possibly want. He hadn’t seemed to notice that she was looking at him, so she certainly didn’t think he was here for her. Marinette startled a bit when the tree moved. Chat jumped out of the tree and landed on the sidewalk. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before running off into the night. 

“What was that all about?” Marinette wondered. She sighed as she let herself remember she still had homework to do and she’d better get back to it.

Marinette knew that Chat Noir ran around the city at night. There were pictures of him all over the LadyBlog. There were even some video clips of him vaulting over the heads of whoever was holding the camera, jumping from one rooftop to the other and disappearing out of sight like some sort of cryptid. There was a whole section of the LadyBlog dedicated to the sightings and trying to track his movements. 

Ladybug had been meaning to talk to him about this behavior of his. Patrolling was, ultimately, frivolous work. Any news bulletin would alert them to the presence of an akuma no matter what time of day it was. It seemed to make people feel a little better, knowing that one of the pair was always on the lookout. She didn’t exactly know what to make of it though. 

Clearly the Dupain-Cheng Bakery was on his patrol route. Marinette simply hadn’t noticed before now because she was never looking out the window at the right time. But despite that she had to wonder about the expression on his face. Marinette tapped her finger to her chin, a plan formulating in her head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of MariChat to get the ball rolling.

The next night Marinette swiped an assortment of day old pastries from the shop and arranged them on a platter, which she then covered with a vented cover. She wrote a note addressed to Chat Noir, something sappy and fangirly, thanking him for tirelessly defending the city (she thought he’d get a kick out of it), and placed it between the platter and cover. Before evening hit she placed it out on the terrace and proceeded to lay in wait on her bed. 

Chat Noir was quiet. Really quiet. If Marinette hadn’t been waiting, and knew exactly what sort of sounds to listen for, she might not have noticed it when he landed on her ceiling.  
Marinette heard the cover come off the pastries. She stood up on her bed and carefully lifted the hatch overhead to get a glimpse of what Chat Noir was doing. She winced as the hatch made just the barest amount of noise and stopped pushing it as soon as there was just a crack for her to see out of.  
Marinette peeked through the crack towards the table that held the platter. She could see the table legs, but didn’t see any sign of Chat. Marinette frowned. She was certain that she’d heard him. She opened the hatch just a little more to see-  
“Hey there Princess.” Chat Noir said, his face appearing in the small crack she’d opened up.

“Omigosh!” Marinette yelped, jumping back a little and letting the trapdoor fall closed. 

“Awww!” She heard Chat whine, muffled by the roof. There was a scratching noise at the hatch, like a cat scratching to be let in.  
Marinette rolled her eyes, feeling somewhat recovered from her start.  
The scratching noise paused for a moment, as if Chat was considering that she really wasn’t going to open the hatch again, but then started again a bit hesitantly.  
Marinette pushed the hatch open just a little. Chat stopped scratching. A green eye and half a face greeted her when she peeked out. She could tell Chat was grinning. She resisted rolling her eyes and bit back a smile as she opened the hatch the rest of the way.  
Chat Noir was laying on the roof, head next to the trap door, a croissant in one hand and her note in the other. 

“Hi Princess.” Chat said, still grinning at her. Marinette suspected that maybe she had made her note overly sappy if he was smiling that much. 

“Hello Chat Noir.” Marinette said, smiling back at him. She had to admit, if just to herself, that it was nice to see him. 

“Are these for me?” Chat asked, waving the croissant he was holding. 

“Well, I certainly didn’t leave that note for the pigeons.” Marinette replied. Chat got out of the way as she hoisted herself up, then put the croissant in his mouth so he could help her stand. 

“How purr-fectly thoughtful of you.” Chat said with his teeth gingerly holding the croissant, going back over to the plate and admiring his spoils gleefully. 

“Well, you weren’t exactly being subtle.” Marinette said. She laughed when Chat turned back to her with a confused look. “Whenever you come by the bakery on your patrol you stop for a while and sniff the air.” She pointed out. Chat smiled bashfully.

“Well, can you really blame me? Everyone knows that the Dupain-Cheng bakery makes the best pastries in Paris.” Chat said, flattering her. 

Marinette was awfully proud of the reputation her papa’s bakery had. She knew how hard he’d worked to get to where he was. Even Chloe Bourgeois couldn’t fault the macarons from the Dupain-Cheng bakery, as much as she’d like to just to spite Marinette. 

“I rarely get a chance to eat pastries from here in my civilian life, so this is a real treat.” Chat continued. 

“Oh?” Marinette asked, making conversation. 

“On a strict diet plan to maintain my figure.” Chat said with a smirk. Marinette rolled her eyes.

“I don’t think eating them incognito is going to prevent the effects from showing up in your civilian form.” Marinette pointed out.

“What my dietitian doesn’t know won’t kill me.” Chat said with a smile. 

Marinette was pretty sure he was joking, but it was just as well. She shouldn’t be prying into what his personal life was like anyway, and he shouldn’t tell her even if she was. He’d know better than that, and joking about being on a diet and having to watch his figure was pretty much what she’d expect of him. 

“Well, I hope you enjoy them now, since you get them so rarely.” Marinette said, diverting the topic. She looked down at the platter and blinked in surprise. It was practically empty now. Marinette had been vaguely aware that Chat had been eating during their conversation, but she didn’t think he’d been eating quite that fast. 

“This was great. Just the sort of pick me up I needed to get through the night.” Chat said with a smile. He put the note she’d written him into one of the zippered pockets on his suit and picked up one of the remaining pastries. A cheese danish by the looks of it. Marinette just smiled at him.

“Well, it’s been lovely _chat_ ting with you Princess, but duty calls.” Chat said, pulling his baton off its holster.

“Take care, Chat Noir.” Marinette said. She allowed herself to put a little more fondness into her tone than she might normally as Ladybug. After all, she was supposed to be a fangirl thanking him, and Marinette wasn’t trying to keep him at arm’s length like Ladybug was. 

Chat’s face burst into a grin and with a wink he vaulted off of her terrace and onto the row of buildings across the street. Marinette chuckled as her tipped an invisible hat at her before running off into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way I figure it.... Chat has no table manners. And I've seen my brother go through a giant plate of food in less than 15 minutes flat. He wasn't even a teenager at the time. 
> 
> Also, upon reviewing the footage, the hatch to the terrace is actually a skylight.... But I'm not going to go back and fix that. Even if the thought of Chat peering through the glass and possibly meowing at Marinette makes me giggle.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette and Alya have a talk about Marinette's findings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick disclaimer here.
> 
> This is all unbetaed, and I just put it into AO3s thing and spot edit it from there. I'd really never get the story out otherwise.  
> But if you've found any funny wording or some scenes seem sort of weird or hard to picture.... sorry! Now you know why.

Marinette hadn’t gone out to greet Chat Noir at night since that first night, but she still left a dish of pastries out for him every night. If she bothered to listen closely she thought she could hear him. The dish was always empty when she checked in the morning.  
It wasn’t until this had gone on for several nights that Marinette had had a suspicion that she felt she had to share with someone. 

“Alya?” Marinette asked her friend one day as they were sitting at her computer desk. “The… The Ladyblog has a big speculation forum, right?” 

“Yeah… You already knew that though. In fact, the last time we talked about it you seemed really annoyed about it. Have you suddenly changed your mind? Oh! Have you finally joined the fan craze? Have you got a theory for me?? Lay it one me, I'd love to hear it.” Alya replied, her words getting progressively faster as she leaned in. 

Marinette smiled at her friend’s enthusiasm before her face twisted into a concerned little frown.

“Do you think that maybe…. Chat Noir is homeless?” Marinette asked. 

Alya raised an eyebrow at her, then looked away putting a finger to her chin.

“Hmmm…. Talk me through the thought process here.” Alya finally suggested after a moment. 

Marinette’s eyes widened and she took a deep breath. Alya reared back a little, recognizing the look on her face. 

“Okay! So, on the Ladyblog there’s this whole thing dedicated to Chat Noir sightings, right? And he’s out literally _every_ night. Why? I mean, Ladybug never patrols. And really, why does Chat patrol at all? Because it’s not like they really need to patrol at all, the news alert keeps them posted just like everyone else. That is… unless Chat doesn’t have access to a tv? What if he doesn’t go back to wherever he lives because his life as Chat Noir is just that much better? But being a Superhero is hard, what sort of home life would you have to have to enjoy being incognito and on alert like that all the time?” 

Somewhere in there Marinette had gotten up and started pacing. She took a deep breath to try to organize herself. 

“And he’s just… so…. skinny.” Marinette said gravely. 

This was something she’d noticed when he’d been on her roof, but hadn’t looked closely at until the last akuma attack just yesterday. She’d had to drag him out of the way, and her arm had practically wrapped around his waist. She was pretty sure she could feel his ribs through the leather of his suit, though maybe she'd imagined it.

Marinette stopped and looked back at Alya, recalling that she was actually asking an opinion.  
Alya looked a little surprised, but not too confused. 

“Hmmm….. Well, it’s fairly wild speculation, but way more believable than some of the stuff on the blog.” Alya replied. “It’s a pretty good start for your very first wild fan theory.” 

Marinette sat heavily back onto her chair. 

“It’s…. There’s more though. He comes by the bakery at night.” Marinette said softly. 

“Yeah, it’s on his patrol route.” Alya said.

“I leave him pastries and he eats them like he’s starving.” Marinette mused. She tensed as Alya yelped. 

“Did something happen? Have you actually talked to him? Are you holding out on me? Tell me!” Alya insisted. She grabbed Marinette and pulled her over to the chaise lounge so she could sit next to her. 

“Er… Well I just….” Marinette drooped and sighed in resignation. She looked at Alya, who currently resembled a shark, and prepared to bear her soul. 

Marinette summed up what had happened, how she’d gotten the idea to feed Chat Noir, and how the singular meeting they’d had went down. 

“And he’s been eating a whole plate of pastries a night?” Alya asked. “You’re sure it’s him and not pigeons?” 

“I’m pretty sure it’s him.” Marinette said flatly. 

Alya closed her eyes and crossed her arms in thought. 

“He could have been telling the truth about being on a strict diet?” She mused. Clearly, she didn’t believe it either. 

Marinette had thought of that. But she thought that, if it were true, then it would have been too good a hint as to his real identity. It would have narrowed down the guessing field considerably. A teenage boy with blonde hair and green eyes who had to stay skinny to keep his figure… Adrien fit that bill. He’d have to stay trim because he was a model. He probably had a dietitian and everything, just like Chat was talking about. Marinette supposed that there were probably a handful of boys in Paris that fit that bill but not many more, it’s not like Adrien was the only teen model living in the city, just the only one she cared about. 

“I guess. But the way he said it certainly sounded like a joke. Plus, Ladybug and Chat Noir keep seem like they take their secret identities pretty seriously. And saying something like that seems like it would really narrow the search field down if he was telling the truth.” Marinette said. She certainly HOPED Chat Noir wasn’t dumb enough to go around giving broad hints about who he was to pretty girls just because they were nice to him. 

“You know what? I’m gonna type this up for the Ladyblog. See what other people think. I feel like this idea actually has some merit.” Alya determined.

“Oh! No, don’t mention that it was me. I don’t want people lurking around the bakery at night just because Chat stops here.” Marinette said quickly. “And it’s not like Chat doesn’t deserve some privacy.” 

“I’ll keep names out of it. You are now nothing more than an anonymous fan who gave me a tip.” Alya said, waving her hand. “I’ll keep the details of the encounter to a minimum. Just that Chat was fed and seemed to appreciate it.” 

Marinette hummed, not entirely sure that she liked this idea. She couldn’t think of any immediate ways to deter Alya from opening up her tablet and starting her article so she just let it go. Maybe there wasn’t any harm in it really.


End file.
